How I was born Catholic, became an atheist, embraced Islam and reverted to the Church (short version)

I was born into a Catholic family but, by the age of eight, was an atheist, having decided via evolutionary theory and the steady state model of the universe popular at the time that God was, in Laplace's words, an 'unnecessary hypothesis'. The universe could get by perfectly well without Him.

This remained my view until my late teens when I had a brief flirtation with parapsychology and the occult. My interest in the field soon waned (probably about the time that I realised the channeled comments of the dead revealed people substantially less interesting when deceased than when alive) but it sparked an interest in philosophy and comparative religion. After some study and thought I came to the conclusion that this God fellow probably did exist, and that all the world religions were like different paths up the same mountain, widely separated at the base but getting closer and closer as they climbed until at the summit they became converged upon their object.

So, having decided this, I came to the conclusion I'd better find a religion and start climbing that mountain. Now remember that this was the early eighties. I looked briefly at Catholicism, but found nothing there to compare with the Greek philosophers like Plato I had been reading. Of course, I know there were the saints, but they were not so widely available at the time, and I was also looking for guidance from the living and not just the dead.

Then I happened upon Islam in its Sufi dimension. It appeared to offer exactly what I was looking for: a way of drawing closer to God while living in the world. Sufism also often has a universalist tinge, which I found attractive. So I embraced Islam and joined a Sufi tariqah, a branch of the Shadiliya, and practised as a Muslim for some 12 years: saying the five daily prayers, fasting through Ramadan, and so on, while also including the extra practises enjoined upon one as a Sufi, which included daily invocation of the name of God. Thus I remained, travelling a little in the Muslim world, making many Muslim friends and meeting some distinctly saintly Muslim men and women.

So why am I no longer a Muslim? The reasons are many. First, I continued studying the world's religions and realised that unless one has a prior commitment to their unity it is not really possible to reconcile their teachings. Thus one is faced with a slightly bizarre situation of having greater faith in religions than in God. I also realised that all the world's religions have great men and women, far greater than I, and how was I to choose between Ibn Arabi and al-Ghazali, St Thomas Aquinas and St Francis, Shankara and Ramakrishna? What warrant had I for believing any one of them more than any other? And if this applied to the saints of the religions, how much more did it apply to the founders of those religions?

Then, of course, I realised that the founder of one of the world's religions did back up his words with deeds. 'Destroy this Temple and in three days I will build it up again.' Christ's words carry the warrant of death defeated.

So that was one of the reasons. Secondly, there were problems within the tariqah of which I was a part. I won't go into detail, but it caused me to question my continuing within its path.

And thirdly, the dreadful developments within the wider body of Islam filled me with revulsion. There is a war for the soul of the religion and the people who follow it, but I wanted no part in it. There are others, far better qualified than I, to fight it, and I hope they succeed.

So there you have it, in short form, the story of how I started Catholic, became an atheist, embraced Islam and finally reverted to the Church. There is much more that I have had to leave out, either for reasons of space and time, or because it would not be wise for me to say more at this time, but I hope it makes clear where I have come from to arrive here, in St Blogs, and more importantly, within the one, holy, catholic and apostolic Church of Our Lord, Jesus Christ.

(Edited to add) Greetings, visitors from Catholic and Enjoying it, and my grateful thanks again to Mark Shea for linking. While you're here, those with an interest in Islam might like to look at the category box on the left of the page and click on 'Islam and its discontents' for more on the subject.

In particular, is it better to be an atheist than a Muslim?

Then there's the question of where's ET? Surprisingly, Enrico Fermi's question may be answered by understanding why medieval Christendom developed science, rather than medieval Islam.

There is, I like to think, lots more of interest here, and links to many Catholic blogs around the world, so I hope you will make yourselves welcome, pour a cup of tea and settle down for an extended stay.

Comments

[Galileo]

No doubt your life has been quite interesting. I look forward to hearing your opinions on the Islam, given that I know almost nothing about the subject.
Cheers.

[thomas tucker]

Ditto- count me in.

[b]

Won't the muslims kill you since you reverted?

[Albertus Minimus]

No. Not all Muslims are crazed head choppers. In fact, the reaction of most Muslims to someone doing this would be similar to a Catholic parent's response to a child converting to another religion: pain, persuasion and prayer.

[Baraclava]

What amazing experience! A Muslim friend told me that in the Koran, God says that all religious people should not be afraid, even though they are not Muslims, as God will forgive them and take them to various level of heavens according to their good deeds. This is the reason Muslims are not doing missionary work. Is this true? Or are they just being lazy?

[Baraclava]

Sorry, one last comment. My friend told me that sufism is wrong and not accepted by the majority Muslims. He continued that a proper Muslim should half his efforts for earning a living (working) and half others for the hereafter (doing good deeds/charity). While, a sufi allocates all his time and efforts for the hereafter purposes. An extreme case of sufism he said might mislead you to think that you - yourself - are God - a blasphemy. Is that true?