Albertus Minimus

Holy hottie

I blogged a little while ago about a former stripper called Heather Veitch who has now started a ministry to girls working in the sex industry. The other day I read an interesting article about her in the 'Observer', which, for those of you who don't know, is the sister Sunday paper to the 'Guardian', sharing its secular, liberal world view. Given the organ publishing the report I wouldn't have been surprised if it turned out to be a hatchet job. After all, born-again Evangelical Christians are not exactly a favoured victim group there. And indeed, during the course of the report we do learn that the reporter is an atheist. However, it's fascinating to read under the surface of the page: I suspect that the journalist found herself admiring Mrs Veitch and her two co-workers far more than she ever expected to.

Speaking to her over the course of the weekend, it becomes clear that Heather has lived through a catalogue of catastrophes you'd be hard pressed to fit into the most tear-jerking of airport fiction. She recounts it all in a voice whose sweetness never breaks, and whose light and even tone might send you into a trance if it weren't for the horrors enveloped in it.

Let's begin with the terminal illnesses: her husband, with whom she has a young daughter and with whom she has brought up a teenage son from a previous relationship, is dying of brain cancer. She cares for him - and provides an income from hairdressing and from the church, where she is about to go on staff - just as she once cared for the sister who was born with heart disease and part of her brain missing when Heather was 14. 'I take care of sick people,' she says. 'That's my thing. It seems to follow me around.'

It's worth reading the whole report, but be warned that it contains both bad language and some descriptions of sexual acts. The link is here.

The sentience register

The only tenable argument for abortion is that a foetus is not a human being. Thus, it depends on a separation of the idea of 'personhood' from the process, begun at conception and ended at death, of an incarnate human being. In an interesting new twist on ancient Gnostic heresies, we have a new and even more numinous concept posited as being in contrast to the Christian belief that a human being is a union of body and soul: rather than a person being a body, or a soul, a person is defined by 'quality of life'. The curious thing is that this is, as an idea, even harder to pin down than those of 'soul' or 'body', particularly since there's no agreement nowadays on what constitutes the good life in the first place.

Anyway, this is obviously the direction the argument is heading, both with respect to abortion and euthanasia. So, where is it likely to take us? If once we accept that 'personhood' is not something fundamental to a human being but rather a set of attributes acquired, or lost, by a collection of cells, then it seems to me that a logical consequence is the setting up of something we could call a 'sentience register'. This would first come into being to assess those whom society had deemed meet to kill off, and we see the first steps to this in abortion legislation, and more recently the push to legalising euthanasia, and now the so-called Groningen protocol in Holland, which defines which new-born babies can be killed.

After that, it would only be a matter of time before it became obvious that, while all humans are equal, some humans are more equal than others. For once humanity is predicated on a set of attributes, it will inevitably be the case that some people will have more, and others less. Thus the final result will be the creation of a society where worth is probably measured by some mix of genetic and developmental factors. Perhaps parents who produce children very much below or above them in their level of humanity will have those children removed and placed with more suitable carers. After all, it's in the child's own interests that it be raised by parents who can relate to it. One can ultimately envisage a society more rigidly stratified than any other in human history, one's level in it determined by psychological and genetic testing, and the eventual and inevitable slip down the sentience register accompanied by the knowledge that to fall too far brings with it a no doubt painless euthanasia. After all, you wouldn't be you anymore, you'd have ceased to be a human being.

This seems to me a likely development of current ideas. So watch out for the sentience register, coming soon to a health bureaucrat near you.

Where happiness lies

A friend recently relayed this conversation to me.

He was talking to an elderly Chinese gentleman and they got on to the subject of happiness and where it lay. The Chinese gentleman said that happiness was, 'Grandfather, father, son, die.'

When my friend objected that that seemed a rather morbid path to happiness the old man added three words that finished the argument: 'In that order.'

(I must admit that this has the ring of an urban legend, but even if there is no such ancient Chinese proverb, the story seems to convey a truth about what is the right and proper order of things. How great a tragedy it must be for a man to outlive his sons, or a mother her daughters.)

All in the mind?

Dr Michael Persinger, a neuroscientist living in Canada although American by birth, has a theory of everything: God, alien abductions, mystical experiences, feelings of deja vu, pretty well the full panoply of the extraordinary and the supernatural. Basically, it's all in the brain. Yep, the whole caboodle is down to those pesky little neurones misfiring, rather like a car with a faulty transmission suddenly shoving you into reverse when you meant to put it into first.

But how does he know this? It's quite simple, really. He claims he can produce mystical and spiritual experiences in people, and it doesn't take years of self-discipline, personal mortification and contemplative prayer. No, all you have to do is put on a yellow crash helmet, sit back, and relax. (If you think I'm joking about the yellow crash helmet, see here, and scroll down for the photo.) A weak electromagnetic field is passed through the temporal lobes of the brain and enlightenment results. A journalist gives an interesting account of his experiences with the helmet here. As an aside, if Hollywood, with its visions of gleaming metal laboratories, has convinced you that scientific research is glamorous, his description of the experimental set up here will set you straight.

I'm escorted into the chamber, an old sound-experiment booth. The tiny room doesn't appear to have been redecorated since it was built in the early '70s. The frayed spaghettis of a brown-and-white shag carpet, along with huge, wall-mounted speakers covered in glittery black nylon, surround a spent brown recliner upholstered in the prickly polymers of that time. The chair, frankly, is repellent. Hundreds of subjects have settled into its itchy embrace, and its brown contours are spotted with dollops of electrode-conducting cream, dried like toothpaste, giving the seat the look of a favored seagulls' haunt.

Of course, some, not least Dr Persinger himself, have taken this to mean that religion has been explained. In the same way, such critics would no doubt say that a thorough chemical analysis of the consituent pigments of the 'Mona Lisa' would constitute a thorough understanding of La Gioconda's smile. But it occurs to me that if other parts of the brain are stimulated they likewise produce effects: thus stimulating the visual cortex affects sight, other areas recall memories as clear as the moment that produced them. The interesting thing about these is that they correspond to something real. No one would think that by understanding how the brain sees it therefore means that the external world that it sees is therefore explained away. So I would argue that, if Dr Persinger's research is correct, that it actually provides evidence for religion.

Of course, psychology being the field it is, there is now controversy over the methodology Dr Persinger's experiments, and various other things. For a quick overview of the dispute, go here.

The worst writer ever?

I work as an editor for a publishing company here in London and most of the time the copy I receive is, at least, serviceable. There are, however, the odd exceptions: writers who submit work of a standard that makes me wonder how they can call themselves 'writers' with a straight face and unblushing countenance. This last week I've been editing the copy of a person who is the worst writer I have yet come across. Virtually every review she submitted has had to be rewritten from scratch. Here is an example of the worst restaurant review I have ever had the misfortune of editing:

Have a yen to see the industry power brokers in action, book a booth well in advance at luncheon and observe everyone from A-list actors to top of the line agents, while chowing down on well prepared American fare, you know steaks and hamburgers, with equally fine Martinis.

Still, at least in that example it's easy to understand what the writer was trying to say. But how about this sentence for a construction that is almost completely opaque in its meaning:

Named for the temperature difference between medium rare and well done is also helmed by the talented Goodells at The Roosevelt Hotelk, is essentially their twist on the burger joint.

I did eventually work out what she meant, but it took some time.

Reading her copy, I was wondering how on earth this lady could make a living as a writer. Then it occurred to me that something I had read about Hollywood applied here also. This is the riddle: why do so many bad films come out of Hollywood, when no one (with the possible exception of the characters in 'The Producers') actually sets out make a bad film? Even the director of the worst Z grade direct to video schlock didn't wake up each morning when filming and think, 'Great, I'm going to be shooting some more really bad scenes today.'

So, where does it all go wrong? Well, one point that had never occurred to me before is that there are a very wide range of skills necessary to a film maker, and not all of these have anything to do with the actual movie. Thus, the ideal director will obviously be able to extract performances from actors, frame a story, and so on. But he will also, and long before he ever gets near a camera, have to be able to 'pitch' a concept, network, and, most importantly of all, make film company executives believe in him enough that they are willing to stump up a lot of cash for the movie to be made in the first place.

Thus, it's easy to see how it's perfectly possible for a person to have all the talents required to get a film green-lighted, but few of the abilities needed to actually produce a good movie once production has begun. The same is true, althought to a lesser extent, with writing, where the ability to make contacts with agents and publishers and publicists is at least as important in getting work published as the words on the paper.

So my anonymous scribe will probably continue in a long and successful writing career, her prose polished by generations of long-suffering editors.

Lots of coloured paper

I suspect that I'm not the only one to treat consultative processes, entered into with much public enthusiasm by bishops and archbishops, with some scepticism. All too often in the past they seem to be more public relations' exercises than anything else, and designed in such a way that a bishop can extract from them the justification for what he was going to do in any case. So when Cardinal Cormac Murphy O'Connor, the archbishop of the Westminster diocese of which I am a part, announced that he was going to ask the people of the diocese about the way forward, and publish the results in (first) a 'green paper' and (finally) a 'white paper', I was not too hopeful about the outcome. (I must admit that the name given to the process, 'Graced by the Spirit', also served to raise my hackles, suggesting to me the ecclesiastical equivalent of business speak.)

My hopes suffered further when I went along to one of the 'consultative phases' (or talking shops) a couple of years ago as the representative of my parish, and found that the little group of which I was a part was hijacked by an ageing nun, in traditional polyester, to push all the usual, tired clichés of 'reform'.

So I must admit that when the Cardinal finally published his 'white paper' at the end of all this, entitled 'Communion and Mission', I was not expecting much. There were rumours that the paper would contain concrete proposals for parish clustering, and even suggest closing some parishes, in response to the decline in the number of priests in the diocese.

But no. In fact, the document proposes five priorities for the diocese over the next few years, all of which seem to me to be worthwhile.

Priority 1: The Call to Holiness, Prayer and the Eucharist

The first priority must be the universal call to holiness manifested in each one of us through a life of prayer and worship. Our parishes should be schools of prayer in which there are opportunities for people to learn how to pray and to be supported in doing so. In addition, I would hope that every parish would increase the time available for adoration of the Lord present in the Blessed Sacrament, as the Bishops’ meeting in Rome recently urged.

I will be asking the Liturgy Commission to look at the provision of courses and resources for all involved in the liturgical life of a parish. These will take place at designated centres in the Diocese staffed and resourced by parishes and deaneries. The courses will seek to build up a dedicated liturgical ministry of people whose task it is to support their priest in the development of liturgy and worship.

Priority 2: Formation of Adults and Young People

My next priority is the formation of all the baptised for their mission of bearing witness to Jesus Christ. I wish to place special emphasis on formation for leadership and on formation for young people.

If all the baptised are to share in the Church’s mission then we must have a proper formation of lay people in their faith. We also need enthusiastic leaders who can motivate the whole Church, especially youth and young adults, to be the Body of Christ in our world, responsible for its growth.

In order to bring this priority into greater fruition effective religious education and faith formation programmes are to be offered throughout the Diocese on all levels: children, youth, young adults and adults. A new Agency for Evangelisation, in collaboration with the Education Service, will begin by surveying the resources which are already available and then look at how to fill the gaps in provision.

Priority 3: Small Communities

The formation of small communities has been one of the fruits of At Your Word, Lord. They have been a vital development in the life of our Diocese. Countless people have told me how much they have been nourished by their experience of prayer and companionship in the Lord by the existence of these small groups.

I have increasingly called the Diocese to be a ‘community of communities’. Now that the At Your Word, Lord programme has finished, I hope that the hundreds of groups across the Diocese will continue to meet. I would also ask every parish to establish small faith communities where they do not exist and to develop them where they are not already strong. The new Agency for Evangelisation will provide materials and other forms of support.

Priority 4: Priesthood and Vocations

The priest is the spiritual leader of the people of the parish. He presides at the Eucharist and the other Sacraments. He preaches the Word of God to his people. He is himself a sign of Christ by the example of faith and by the pastoral service that he gives.

I am convinced that priests need to continue to renew their appreciation and their manner of celebrating the liturgy. The Archbishop’s Council will look at ways of promoting the ongoing formation of clergy. More broadly, I would like us all to be involved in creating in the Diocese a stronger culture of vocations in the years ahead. I am asking the Vocations Director and his team to provide assistance and resources to parishes and ecclesial communities in order to foster vocations from the diverse communities within the Diocese.

Priority 5: Structures for Participation, Change and Accountability

There is a call in the ‘Green Paper’ for greater partnership between parishes, as well as a greater sense of belonging to the local Church. The Church in Westminster must continue evaluating and revitalising present structures and devise new ones where necessary. One element of renewal must be to provide for increased participation, collaboration and accountability in our diocesan mission. We need to find ways of ensuring that our increasingly diverse congregations are being heard.

Decisions affecting the life of the Church at every level must be made collaboratively. They will not be taken centrally and imposed but will be taken gradually, at different times, as the circumstances arise, and only after the evaluation and contribution of each local community is assessed.

Each parish should have a parish council/team. This is a group of lay people who are regularly consulted by the parish priest in relation to the history, the life, the structure of the parish, its resources and its mission. I will be asking the Deans with the Auxiliary Bishops to conduct an audit in consultation with the parish councils/teams and the priests of the deanery. This audit will profile the life and mission of each parish so as to assess its needs and resources and to help develop its relationships with neighbouring parishes and within the deanery.

This is the essence of the Cardinal's proposals. To read the full text of the white paper, 'Communion and Mission', go here.

I'm particularly encouraged by, firstly, his emphasis on the Eucharist, and the need for worthy liturgies and his encouragement for Eucharistic Adoration, and secondly the impression he gives that he has not given up on vocations. Yes, we will inevitably face a shortfall of priests here in Westminster in the short and possibly medium term - the age profile of the clerical population makes that inevitable. But the one way to ensure a long term dearth of priests is to assume that the decline in vocations is inevitable and irreversible. I don't for a minute believe that is the case, and the same seems to be true, I'm glad to say, for the cardinal.

The structure of the Church

If I had been asked to describe the Church as it exists in this world, I suppose my first impulse would have been to liken it to a pyramid: the Pope at the top, then the bishops, priests and laity. In short, the Imperial Church, one modelled to some significant extent on the structure of Imperial Rome. Of course, if challenged I might have been at a loss to justify quite why the Church should mirror the organisation of an Empire which, for all its virtues, elevated torture to public entertainment and institutionalised the idolatry of power.

Well, Hans Urs von Balthasar, in his book 'The Office of Peter and the Structure of the Church', offers a very different model of the Church, one based on the people around Jesus in His life, one that takes seriously the idea that what He did then, and whom he interacted with, was not happenstance but purposeful.

It's a fascinating view, and one that quite properly places Mary at the heart of the Church, so I recommend either the book or an excellent paper, 'Von Balthasar and the Office of Peter in the Church' by the Jesuit, John McDade, which is available here (scroll down the page until you come to it). The paper is in Word format.

Where have all the freaks gone?

This is a supposedly an enlightended age, when we would recoil from the freak show horrors of our forbears, where the deformed and the maimed were placed in travelling circuses for the amusement of the hale and hearty. Of course, we would not point at the Elephant Man, or laugh at a dwarf. That would not be polite. In fact, we seldom nowadays have the opportunity to show our good breeding, as cripples and freaks become increasingly rare in our perfect plastic world.

Strange that. I wonder what happened to them all?

"My main memory of all of this is the doctor's incredible nonchalance.

"He was not only blase about what he proposed to do, he was even eager to do it – and he was quite forthright about his belief that any baby with even a suspicion of abnormality, or indeed any baby the parents simply did not want, should be dispatched forthwith.

"He was keen to perform this procedure on me as soon as possible, without any further testing of any kind.

"I even remember him reminding me that I was not being fair to my other larger twin if I did not allow him to kill the smaller one. This was because I was already at risk of premature birth."

Ah, yes. That's it. Let's just ensure they never get born.

The full story is here. It really is worth reading it all.

With thanks to Joel of On the other foot.

All aboard the gravy train

Scott Burgess of the Daily Ablution proves himself a braver man than I by ploughing through the 'Guardian's Society supplement. For those unfamiliar with this fine organ, I should point out that in the 'Guardian' "Society" does not refer to bejewelled debutantes making their trembling entrances into polite company but, well, impolite company. Should you be worried that we here in Britain are not doing enough to succour the underclass in its distress, Scott runs through a short section of the 'Situations Vacant' advertisements that appeared in the newspaper yesterday.

Reading them, I suggest we all go off and qualify as social workers. For instance:

Stoke on Trent ("Transformation. Teamwork. Talent.") A veritable bonanza here, as the "Social Care Services for Children and Young People" section has just seen its budget increased by a third. It's not clear how many people they're looking for, but it's definitely at least 5, and at least £160,000 has been allocated.

So, as the old saw has it, every cloud has a silver lining. Or, to put it another way, there's money in misery.

Not dead yet

I sometimes get the impression that in the American Catholic blogosphere it's virtually an article of faith that the Faith is dead, or at least dying, in Europe. Well, even if it is, the old dog is still twitching. Here in my local diocese of Westminster, 754 adults took part in the Mass of Catechumens at Westminster Cathedral as part of their RCIA preparations towards being received into the Church this Easter. That's a record. In fact, there were so many candidates that the Cathedral had to have two separate Masses to accommodate all of them.

And, as a side note, I can add that the number of people to be received into the Church in Westminster this year can be increased by one, to 755, as Mrs Minimus is being privately instructed, outside the usual RCIA programme, with a view to being received into the Church this Easter.