Albertus Minimus

The madness of MP George

George Galloway MP was last night voted out of the 'Big Brother' house, and was greeted with jeering and the quickly dawning realisation that he has destroyed his career and his credibility. Presumably he thought that he could manipulate the manipulators, in the same way he had outfaced the Senate Committee before whom he testified. But the people who make 'Big Brother' are well versed in the dark arts of social psychology:

Politicos and hoodies alike have lengthily debated which was George’s most catastrophic moment in the house: acting out the emotion “A slight feeling of bewilderment when a puppy won’t come to you when called”, dressed in a straining red Lycra bodysuit, to Kraftwerk’s Trans-Europe Express, perhaps. Taunting the ex-alcoholic Michael Barrymore by chanting the phrase, “Poor me, poor me, pour me another drink” over and over again during an argument.

Kneeling on all fours and drinking imaginary cream from the actress Rula Lenska’s hands, purring loudly. Promising, in the wake of some perceived slight, revenge on Preston, the 24-year-old lead singer of The Ordinary Boys. “Either in or out of the house,” he added. During the latter scene, with his cigar, Galloway looked like Big Ron Corleone.

This 'Times' article asks a question many have posed but it appears it is up to your faithful scribe to answer:

Is there a medical test in existence that could explain WHY HE DID IT?

One word: vanity.

Unbelievable!

Mr George Galloway MP, roving apologist for dictators, is a contestant on the new series of Channel 4's 'Celebrity Big Brother'. Words are sometimes inadequate, and this is one of those occasions.

Be careful what you wish for

We're into season two of 'The X Factor' here in England, a talent show similar to the various 'Pop Idol' shows around the world and featuring that panderer to performers' egos, Mr Simon Cowell, among its judges. The blurb for the first season promised to turn the show's winner into a star.

It didn't.

The winner, Steve Brookstein, is back playing pubs and bars rather international arenas, but he does have one distinction. He is the first and founder member of a new celebrity sub-group: those famous for not being famous.

Mr Brookstein, we salute you.

Mediacrities

I really thought I had invented a worthy new addition to the English language: mediacrities, those inhabitants of television, magazines and newspapers whose only distinction lies in their fame. However, googling the term showed that others are using the noun too; if nothing else proof that it is an idea whose time has come, even if I can no longer claim the glory of a first recorded mention in a future edition of the OED.

Time now, I think, for our first addition to the Mediacrities' Hall of Infamy. And for such a seminal task one can do no better than call on everybody involved in 'Big Brother': its contestants, producers, presenters, everyone. Thankfully, I've managed to pretty well completely escape the last edition, just completed on Channel 4, to such an extent that I don't think I can name any of the contestants. No doubt Davina McCall is still the presenter, so at least she can be inducted into the Mediacrities' Hall of Infamy along with all her nameless proteges.

So (roll of the drums) the first inductee into the Mediacrities' Hall of Infamy is:

Big Brother.